


what a little shit

by gingerbread man (xphantomhive)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Genderbending, Rule 63, john is such a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-21 16:38:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6058498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xphantomhive/pseuds/gingerbread%20man
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You know her kind; the pranksters who play "blushing virgin" until they know they have you hooked.</p><p>She's <em>so</em> lucky that she hooked you enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	what a little shit

**Author's Note:**

> dawn = dave  
> deana = dirk  
> joanna = john
> 
> just so there's no confusion!

When she walks into _Derse_ , you’re manning the turntables for your asshole of a sister who’s over in the corner chatting up some black-haired girl. You wish you could say she walks in like an angel or a goddess or some other kind of otherworldly being, but she actually walks in stumbling over her own two feet in a six-inch pair of blue heels and grabbing at her blonde friend’s shoulders who looks suspiciously like your bitchy half-sister Rose Lalonde. They walk up to the DJ booth and you realize that it _is_ your half-sister Rose.

"Hello Dawn,” she greets with snark in the undertone of her voice. “How are you?”

You roll your eyes behind your shades. “Can it, Lalonde,” you reply. “Who’s your friend here?”

Her friend blushes and looks away. You take a quick minute to give her a once-over, because from the neck-up she looks like a blushing virgin that gets embarrassed when someone says “sex” - she has double pigtails, electric blue eyes, and thick-rimmed glasses. But from the neck-down, she looks like some kind of vixen that tears apart the hearts of innocent men, in a black dress that ends suggestively at her mid-thigh and hugs her curves (you think your mouth might have watered, hot _damn._ ) “I’m Joanna,” she tells you quietly, batting her eyelashes. You don’t think she’s trying to flirt purposely. “Joanna, uh, Egbert.”

“Well, Joanna uh Egbert,” you respond, and her blush deepens. “I’m Dawn Strider, the she-devil’s half-sister. Same dad, different mom.”

Rose makes a gagging sound. You flip her off.

“Do you wanna dance?” Joanna asks bashfully, looking at you through her lashes. You’re starting to notice that she’s using them as her selling point, with good reason, too; they’re long and black like her hair, and you don’t think she even used a drop of mascara. Her glasses have slid down her nose and you notice that her eyes are ten times clearer when they aren’t blocked by the square frames, but your shades and the dim lighting in the club still mute their color. Rose tugs on one of her ebony pigtails and smirks unabashedly. Joanna’s slowly fading blush returns.

“Can’t now, sweetcheeks,” you reply, piling on as much charm as you can manage. You look at her over the top of your shades, and her mouth forms a little ‘o’ when she sees your eyes.”Gotta work the turntables for my sis, Deana. If she ever comes back, I’d love to work you instead.”

Joanna gasps. Rose’s smirk widens. “Uh, yeah. Okay, yeah. Can I suggest a song?”

No one is supposed to suggest songs. You’re only supposed to play the songs in Deana’s handmade playlist, and if you don’t she’ll drive a katana through your heart. But frankly, you’ve heard _She Wolf_ and _The Ballad of Mona Lisa_ enough to make you cry when you hear the first few notes of them start playing, so you say, “Nah, I’m not supposed to play anythin’ but the tracks Deana tells me to, but I think I can make an exception for a pretty lady like you.”

She smiles sweetly. “How about _Never Gonna Give You Up_ by Rick Astley?” She asks, and you see her small, shy smile change into a broad grin. What a little _shit._ You’ve dealt with her kind before; shy and hesitant and all blushing virgin at first, forcing you to up your cool facade by ten notches, but as soon as they know that they have you hooked they turn into little tricky shits. Her kind has a name: prankster. “I mean, unless you don’t have that track for a _pretty lady like me._ ”

She starts giggling into her hands, then, leaning against Rose’s shoulder. The witch is smirking, black lip upturned in that annoying way. “You told me pranking your half-sister Dawn would be fun, Rose, but not _this_ fun!”

“You two are assholes,” you say, looking over their heads in search of Deana. “Total dicks. The biggest dicks.”

Joanna pounds and leans against the edge of the DJ table. You want to smack her away, but she’s still pretty hot, despite the whole asshole prankster thing. “Can we still dance? I did really wanna dance with you, that wasn’t part of the prank.”

You sigh and lean forward on your elbows, careful not to bump the turntables with your elbows and make the track skip. “I think that can be arranged. But you’re gonna have to find my sister, ‘cause somebody’s gotta work these tables.”

Joanna nods rapidly enough to shake her dual pigtails, and you almost reach for them to tug the buck-toothed hottie in for a kiss. You don’t get to, though, because she’s already turning on her heel and skipping away to find Deana. Rose takes Joanna’s spot and smirks up at you. “You are such a charmer. The best charmer there is, if I do say so myself.”

You open your mouth to give a snarky reply in return, but you see Joanna skipping back over like she’d skipped away, but this time Deana is on her arm. The reply you’d had ready dies in your throat. You and Rose both gape at them both. “What? You made it sound like finding her would be sooo hard, but it was actually pretty easy! She was dancing with my sister Jane.”

Deana walks up the short flight of stairs to the DJ booth and nudges her way into your spot. She smiles down at Joanna. “How about you and I go see a movie some time, honey?” She says, smirking in that way she does when she’s trying to pick up a chick. Joanna smiles and tugs at the collar of her dress, and you guess the nervous thing wasn’t entirely an act.

“Sorry Deana, but I think I’d rather go see a movie with _Dawn_ sometime! What do you think Dawn? Do you want to go see a movie sometime?” She responds, canting her head in your direction. You’ve never felt more unable to come up with a reply then you do right now. “Dawn? You okay, or did I break you? Do you not want to see a movie with me?”

“Let’s go see a movie _right now,_ ” you say, and then you’re tugging her through the crowd of people but you can still hear Rose laughing over at the DJ booth. It’s probably half you, half the look that’s on Deana’s face.

You don’t go see a movie, but she does finally get her dance.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked this! i posted it while i was at school...heh.


End file.
